The Internet – friend or unruly teen?

Now, I am new to this blogging business but since I am trying to carve out a career as a writer, it seems pretty lax not to at least give it a try. So this morning, I excitedly gave up my morning jog (!) to hurry to my computer and begin a blog.

Then I encountered one of the main reasons why I never attempt any sort of www. interaction apart from emails and buying stuff: It doesn’t work for me… I switch on my computer which has been programmed to automatically log on and it just doesn’t connect.

Ever.

The J-man comes in and does exactly the same as me and bingo is ready to roll within seconds. I sit with my chin in my hand watching the ‘error connecting’ message flash over and over again as I silently seethe. Sometimes I treat myself to a not so silent seething. Like this morning. I won’t bother you with the details but most of the words started with F.

As you may guess, this is a pre-recorded message for my web log. Is that allowed? The main idea for this came to me this morning when I was pondering that old, ‘if a tree fell in the forest and there was no one to hear it…’ chestnut. If everyone switched off their computers at the same time, would the internet cease to exist? Or would it continue without us, morphing and misbehaving like a teenage house party when the parents thought they could get away with a quiet week on their own in Costa Del Sol?

Would we be too scared to switch it all back on and reconnect? God, I remember what happened at teenage parties. I can see us all with our fingers poised to hit the connect button just like your mum and dad’s hand hovering over the door handle knowing something is up purely by the toilet roll, beer cans and pubescent bodies in various states of undress all over the garden.

Is the World Wide Web simply a teenage house party waiting to happen? Or would it just vanish?

If there does happen to be a massive global power cut, would we be brave enough to switch our computers back on and press the connect button?

I know I would. With a trembling hand I would click on that connect icon, images of virtual devastation thrilling my brain, only to have ‘Error 691: Access was denied because the user name and/or password were invalid on the domain’ brand itself to my screen.

And even though it is the same user name and same password that has been used since the beginning of my time on the internet, it still wouldn’t work. And I will never be able to RSVP to or take part in that big old teenage house party that is the World Wide Web.

So if you are reading this (that doesn’t include you Gran, I mean on the computer, not a bit of paper) hooray for me, I must have done something right! Party on!